About Bethea
My Story....My Heart
From a young age, I loved Jesus. Like many others, I wanted to be popular with my friends and loving Jesus wasn’t popular. So I tried to impress my peers and left Jesus behind in the dust. Thanks to my parents prayers, when I was 16 God spoke to me at a Youth Camp at Camp Qwanoes in Crofton, BC. The speaker challenged us to give ourselves totally to Jesus, and I said yes. Since then, I know that Jesus is with me day in and day out, through thick and thin. He is my strength and courage. Walk with me as I share more in “My Story”
I answered the phone, having no idea that one phone call could impact my life in so many ways. The policeman asked if I was the current landlord of this young man, Darren*, fishing for information. When I asked what was happening, he refused to give me any information, but warned me not to notify the family as they would be communicating with them personally. Soon after, we heard on the radio that there had been a fire and a death where Darren lived.
When our youngest child was four years old we had two local students in our home. One was our friend’s son ‘Darren’, from Salmon Arm, the interior of BC. He was taking acting classes in downtown Vancouver. He lived in our home for a year and then moved in with a friend for the next year. He was in between roommates and had temporarily taken in a boarder to pay for one months rent until his other friend could move in. With the renter came the drug world. Her ex-boyfriend, a “drug lord”, came in one night with her and killed her in the early morning. Then he went into Darren’s room and attacked him, burning about 85% of his body. Then he ran. Darren managed to get in a cold shower until the Firemen and Ambulance arrived, at which point he let them in. He was taken to the Hospital and immediately into surgery. He was in ICU for one month, wrapped up like a mummy. He had a tracheal tube and was unable to speak. He had seven surgeries all together over the next 3 months. The doctors were amazed at how quickly he progressed.
Even though he couldn’t talk, his eyes and his smile charmed the nurses. Because his parents lived 5 hours away, the doctors suggested they travel back and forth to get a break rather than burning themselves out. Because Darren had lived with us for over a year he was a part of our family. I offered to help care for him in the hospital while his mom was away and so I became known as his “sub-mom”. We prayed with him, sang songs (which he sang inside his head), read scripture and books to him and kept him updated with family news as well as world news. It was hard for him not to speak and we soon learned a communication system where he blinked yes or no. Every time he had a grafting surgery his pain would be extreme and I would cry out to God to help him. The next morning I would come and he would once again be in good spirits, miraculously improved. I was able to put my heart ache into a song I wrote for him “My Heart Cries Out”.
That Christmas was bittersweet. We celebrated with our family while Darren’s family stayed in our home yet spent Christmas time with Darren at the hospital. He wore a Santa hat and was given PJ’s and other special gifts. He absolutely loved celebrating Christmas and having his brother and parents with him. He loved snow and that was a snowy winter, so in January he was able to go in a wheelchair to the patio and open his mouth to catch the snowflakes. I would bring in a travel mug with snow to feed him and he would just let it melt in his mouth, savoring it.
The tracheal tube was finally taken out successfully and he was able to speak a little bit at a time. The first thing he said to me was “I still want to act”. His passion was to be an actor. I told him I thought he would be able to do a better job than ever, having been through such suffering, that he could relate more deeply to characters who went through huge challenges. Throughout his recovery time, Darren let us know that he was praying and that the Lord was helping him get through every day. The greatest threat to a person with a burn injury is an infection and after about 2 ½ months Darren had a couple infections which led to his death. Even then, we felt God’s presence and peace with us as we went through our grief and loss. We were comforted that he was in Jesus’ embrace.
That was a tough Christmas after Darren passed away, knowing that one part of the family would be missing at our friend’s home. I so appreciated each one of my loved ones and gave hugs often. I couldn’t have made it through this huge crisis without Jesus in my life and his strength, peace, love. I grieved deeply and yet was comforted.
Having a personal friend relationship with Jesus has deeply impacted my life. All that I do and am is because of Him. This doesn’t mean that life is easy, because it isn’t. I still have the same rollercoaster ups and downs that I did before: The daily challenges of my children arguing, Darren’s attack and losing him, my husband being laid off from his job that same year, the trial for Darren’s murder, my husband’s heart attacks, going through the highs and lows of hormonal challenges, and other family difficulties. As I go through these challenges, the tough times, I know that God goes with me. The Bible says: “When you pass through the waters I will be with you. When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. The flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”
I often think of life being like a huge puzzle, and one by one we put the puzzle pieces into place. But it’s not like that at all. We aren’t the ones putting the puzzle pieces in the right places – if anything we are searching to find the right spot and frustrated because we can’t do it, it seems too hard. If we could just see our heavenly Father guiding our hands, showing us where to put one puzzle piece at a time in the exact right place. If we could see the wonderful plan and purpose that he has for us, see how lovingly he guides us, how gentle his hands are, how his smile lights up the heavens when we are right with him and following his guiding hand. Are you ready to put a smile on his face? Will you come just as you are, give him all your baggage from your past and live for Him? He says “Stand at the crossroads and look. Ask for the ancient paths. Ask where the good way is and walk in it and you will find rest for your souls.”